


Your Lie

by Strawberrywaltz



Series: Your Lie [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Blaming, Drama, Friends fighting, Gen, Infidelity, Pepper is selfish in this story, Poor Clint, Poor Tony, Telling the truth in a bad situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-11-15
Packaged: 2017-12-27 08:58:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberrywaltz/pseuds/Strawberrywaltz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not easy to tell the truth with the truth may destroy everything. Clint can't keep Pepper's lie any longer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> First story in the Your Lie series. 
> 
> Please enjoy and my apologies for any typos or grammatical errors! If that bothers you there are other authors out there.

In his defense, Clint hadn’t asked for it to happen. He hadn’t asked fate to put him in this position and he sure as hell didn’t want to hurt anyone, especially his best friend. Clint hoped that if he came clean and told the truth the knife in his heart would go away. 

After two days of debate and torture over the issue, Clint walked into Tony’s lab. His mind had already decided that there was no other choice. Clint couldn’t live with the guilt and he definitely couldn’t live with the two of them when she pretended like nothing had happened. Clint needed to be honest and Stark deserved to know the truth. 

“Clint! My favorite feathered friend.” Tony chimed when he finally noticed that Clint had joined him. The billionaire’s eyes were smiling with cheer, oblivious to the seriousness of the situation. Tony had every right to be happy. His best friend and now fiancé had survived a rather sticky situation a week ago. Now they were both okay, although not really. “What can I do for you, my friend?” 

Clint stared at his friend and teammate and hesitated. His mouth opened and closed a few times before Clint managed to find a way to speak up. “Tony, we need to talk.” His voice sounded rough, almost as rough as the truth he had to tell the man in front of him. Unable to look Tony in the eye, Clint stared at the floor as he said the words he had come there to say. “When we were in that place, the forth day when I wasn’t doing so good, Pepper kissed me.” 

The long stretch of silence coaxed Clint’s eyes upward to look at Stark. He watched the emotions run through Tony’s face. First the last threads of shock as they morphed into confusion and then finally anger. No, Clint corrected himself, the look was made of pure rage. 

“You,” Stark shook his head as he slammed some sort of metal thing he had in his hand down on the table with a little more force than necessary. “You kissed my fiancé?” 

“No,” Clint held up his hands in what little defense he could muster. His thoughts stumbled over themselves but no words could be formed into useful sentences.

“So you didn’t kiss Pepper?” Stark interjected quickly, his eyes ablaze with his anger. 

Clint let out a cornered noise. “Yes, but, it didn’t mean anything. She – she must have thought they were going to kill me. I don’t know, it just – ”

Tony closed his eyes, his hand jerked up and out to silence Clint. “I swear to God, Barton if you say ‘it just happened’ I’m going to kill you.” 

Clint was surprised by his friend’s tone. There was no joke or humor underlining the words. Tony actually sounded pissed enough to follow through with the threat. 

Clint struggled to speak again, his mouth opened and closed before he managed to form words again. “It didn’t mean anything, that’s why I’m telling you. I had to tell you, Tony.” 

Silence followed – it felt both hollow and cold. Stark’s glare didn’t lose its edge or its icy rage. “I don’t believe you.” Tony stated finally, he came around the table to face Clint. 

At first Clint wasn’t sure what it was Tony couldn’t believe. Maybe Tony didn’t believe that Pepper could do something so wrong? The woman was perfect in Tony’s eyes. She was everything he wasn’t, but now…

The distance between Clint and Tony closed quickly as the billionaire continued. “I gave you a place to live, fed you, hell I’m pretty sure I bought you the jacket you’re wearing,” Tony hissed darkly as he stopped just before Clint. “I treated you like you were my brother. This is how you repay me?” 

It felt like the knife that had slid into Clint’s heart the moment Pepper’s lips pressed against his twist sharply with every word. “Tony - ” 

“Don’t.” Tony snapped harshly. “You’re out. I want you out of my tower within the hour. Stay away from me and stay the fuck away from Pepper.” 

For a minute they just stared at each other, both with different burdens of betrayal. 

“I had to tell you the truth.” Clint spoke, voice so reserved it bordered on despaired. The archer swallowed as he took a step backwards, away from his enraged friend. If Stark wanted him to leave, he would. “I couldn’t live a lie. Our friendship means to much to me.” 

“Yeah?” Tony asked, eyes dead to emotion. “What friendship?” 

It was all that had needed to be said. Finalized. Still Clint had one last thing to say before he left. “Tony, I’m sorry.” 

“Get out.” Tony said without pause. “Get out of my life you ungrateful bastard.” 

With one final, accepting nod Clint did as requested. He fled the tower and didn’t stop to grab anything to bring with him, there was no point anyway. There was nothing he owned currently that he’d need for his new life. 

An hour later Barton stood in front of Director Fury. Nick stared back at his old friend on the other side of his desk. “Are you sure you want to do this? The Avengers - ” 

“Won’t trust me by the time Tony speaks with them.” Clint interrupted quickly. He didn’t want to hear that he was making a mistake. He couldn’t face the team after what he had done to Tony. Stark was right, Clint had betrayed him. During the time they had lived together, at some point Clint must have given Pepper some sort of signal – some sort of false sign that he was interested. He hadn’t meant to, but that didn’t matter now. Now everything was ruined, over. Finished. 

The Director narrowed his eye at his former, now reinstated agent. “What exactly did you do?” 

Clint paused and wondered how much he should say. Tony and Pepper’s relationship problems were their deal. Not his. It wasn’t his story to tell. Not really. “I told him the truth.” Clint said numbly. 

The two fell silent for a moment before Barton spoke up again. “So, do you have any dangerous missions available sir? Something far, far away from here?” Clint’s voice was cheerful as if he were telling a joke, but Fury knew him well enough to realize that he was also serious. 

“I think I have just the job.” Nick nodded, although hesitant. Normally he probably wouldn’t give an agent this emotionally compromised a mission with such high risk, however, he also knew Clint was the best man for the job. “It’s long term, undercover and risky. Got any problems with that?” 

For the first time since coming back to SHIELD, Barton gave a genuine smile. “Not at all, sir.”

The Director hesitated for a moment before nodding again. “Alright, Agent Barton. I’ll make the arrangements for tomorrow. Will you be returning to the tower for the night?” 

“No.” Clint was quick to answer, his grin fading into a soft, sad smile. “If you don’t have room for me here I’ll find a hotel near by.” 

“Nonsense.” Fury waved the idea off. He had hoped Clint would return to the Avengers tower and things would be worked out before he actually could go on the mission. It didn’t look like that was going to happen, though. “Your former room is still available. I trust you remember the codes?” 

“Yes sir.” Clint nodded. 

“Well then, Agent Barton. I will send someone to collect you for a briefing before you head out. Here is the file, memorize the information, it will help keep you alive.” 

“Will do, sir. Goodnight.” 

__ 

Elsewhere, Tony was fuming, pacing, and waiting for Pepper to return to the tower. He had texted her that he needed to speak with her ASAP, but it felt as if she might be avoiding him. Hell, maybe she was. 

When she finally walked into the lab Tony stilled, staring at her without words. 

“You know.” She said simply, her face sad, but accepting. “Clint told you.”

“Yeah.” Tony managed, the anger left him with emptiness. She had just confirmed that this wasn’t some sort of twisted joke. Collapsing onto the nearest stool Tony suddenly couldn’t bare to look at his fiancé. 

Pepper was silent for a few moments before daring to speak again. “He told me to tell you, he wanted you to hear it from me.” She sighed. “I told him I couldn’t, I couldn’t do that too you.” There were tears in her voice, but Tony didn’t look up at her. “He said he couldn’t live with that kind of lie. I’m not surprised he told you.” 

“He’s gone.” Tony said suddenly, looking up. “I told him to get out and leave us alone. I’m sorry this happened, I’m so sorry Pepper.” Tony was desperate now, reaching out to his surprised CEO. “I love you, that hasn’t changed. Now that he’s gone, you’ll be safe.” 

“What?” Pepper gasped, pushing Tony back so she could look into his eyes. “Tony, what exactly did Clint tell you?” 

“He said he kissed you.” Tony stammered, fear twisting in his gut at her reaction. Why wouldn’t she just let it go, let Barton go? Why couldn’t they move on like nothing happened? A life without this kind of betrayal?

Pepper stared for a moment before she started crying. “Tony, Clint didn’t kiss me, I kissed him. He stopped it immediately. He said he had no feelings for me, that it was wrong, he said you were his best friend. His brother, his family.” 

Tony swallowed thickly. Clint had been telling the truth. The whole truth. He had been honest when Pepper hadn’t been. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you try and keep it a secret?” Stark demanded suddenly, although there was no real anger in his voice, just despair and hurt. 

“I – I thought I could hide it. He didn’t love me back, he never would. I still love you, just – ”

“Just not as much as you love him.” Tony finished for her, feeling as if his heart had been dragged through mud and sharp rocks only to be trampled by a horse. “When did this start? While you two were taken?” 

Pepper shook her head. “No, before that. He was clueless. Natasha had just refused him and he was broken. We talked for a bit, he just needed a friend and I was there. And then I realized I wanted to be there all the time, but Clint didn’t see me that way.” 

“Wasn’t my love enough?” Tony asked suddenly, eyes filled with shattered emotions. When Pepper dropped her head he knew her answer. Feeling lost and confused Tony turned his back on the woman he had loved with all his heart – the same woman who had betrayed him for his best friend. “I don’t know what to do.” Tony admitted. 

“I’ll leave.” Pepper said after a few minutes of lingering silence. “Just, don’t blame Clint. This is the only family he’s ever had, please don’t take that from him because of something stupid I did.” 

Tony’s shoulders tightened with tension as she spoke, he wished she would just stop talking.

“Please.” Stark spoke thickly, not bothering to look back at her. “Don’t tell me what I should do. Just leave.” 

There was a pause of hesitation, but Pepper did as requested, leaving the lab, walking out the door with the sound of clicking heels ringing in Tony’s ears.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Clint studied the information he had been given half-heartedly. His mind kept drifting back to the conversation, no, confrontation he’d had with Tony. In his heart he knew there was no way of avoiding it. A secret like that would have eaten Clint from the inside out. In all honesty Clint should have come clean sooner…

Well, it was over now. 

The mission Clint had been given was deep. Fury had heard whispers of an organization that specialized in enhancing human genetics. Of course, it was based mostly off of rumors. The organization was tight with security. Too well fortified to be a normal medical research facility. It was also impossible to infiltrate from the outside, which is where Clint came in. 

Fury had arranged for him to interview for a security position in the company. Slowly Clint would gain trust and hopefully land in a position where he could gather valuable Intel for SHIELD. 

Of course if the rumors were true, he might end up vanishing like several other employees had over the last few months. 

A knock at his door broke Clint’s fragile concentration. Hesitantly he stood to see who it was only for it to open on its own accord. He was only half surprised to see his former partner enter the room. 

“Natasha.” He greeted kindly, quickly pushing the memory of another conversation from the past out of his mind. “I see you’ve learned how to knock. Still haven’t mastered the waiting part, though.” The archer joked lightly as the redhead closed the door behind her. 

“Hill told me you were back.” The female assassin said, skillfully ignoring Clint’s comment. “She also told me you rejoined SHIELD. I never thought I’d see the day where you willingly left the Avengers.” There was a playful ton to her voice, but her words were serious enough. 

Clint sighed, settling back down in his chair as he ran a hand over his face. “I didn’t exactly leave because I wanted to.” He admitted. 

Things between the two assassins had never been easy. They had been best friends, more than that really. It was Clint who had pushed her to fast. After Loki he had wanted more, but Natasha wasn’t ready. She probably would never be ready for love, not after the life she had led. They had parted ways, Natasha leaving the Avengers and Clint behind. 

They were still friends – just no where near as close as before. 

“Oh?” Natasha asked a whole question with one word. 

Clint sighed, but gave in. “I messed things up, Nat. I always do. It was going to happen sooner or later.” He shrugged a shoulder. “I didn’t belong with them.” Clint paused before adding, “I don’t really belong anywhere, I guess.” All his life he had been searching for a family only to be denied. 

His partner was silent for a moment before she spoke. “Well that’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one.” She waited until Clint looked up at her before continuing. “Clint, I had never seen you happy until you were part of that team. Here you were just surviving, but with them you were making a difference. Are you sure you can’t go back?” 

The archer’s eyes were filled with sorrow as he shook his head. “No, not after what I did.” 

“What could you have done?” Natasha asked softly, her voice not accusing or unbelieving. 

“I told the truth.” Clint shook his head. “It’s not my secret to repeat. It was a hard truth, I refused to lie.” 

Natasha sighed deeply. “But now you’ll be living a life of lies in a world you hate.” 

“I don’t hate SHIELD.” Clint argued lightly. It was the truth, he had never hated SHIELD. Once upon a time SHIELD had been his home. Coulson and Fury had given Clint a purpose, even if it was a bit dark and lonely. 

“You hate this version of you – the heartless SHIELD agent. I know you, Clint. You love being a superhero. You love making a difference.” Natasha corrected. “Please, Clint, is there any way you could fix whatever broke?” 

Clint thought back to the confrontation. ‘What friendship?’ Stark had asked, voice so bitter cold it had frozen what was left of Clint’s torn heart. Yes, Tony might just need time to balance out, but the guilt had already shattered the archer’s heart. He couldn’t face Tony again. Not for a while, at least. Maybe when he got back it will all blow over, but for now he needed to get away. 

“Nope.” Clint forced a ghost of a smile for his old partner’s benefit. 

The redhead sighed, settling on his bed, legs crossed under her. “Well, can you at least tell me what happened? Maybe I can help fix it?” 

Of one thing, Clint was sure. Tony wouldn’t want more people to know about what had happened. If he did, Tony should be the one to explain things. Even if Stark wanted to sever their friendship, Clint wouldn’t betray Tony’s trust any further. 

“Nope. Sorry, Nat, but what’s done is done. There is no going back, no fixing it. I screwed up, it’s over.” He shrugged. “Besides, I’m leaving tomorrow.” He said, waving his hand over the file he was reading. 

Natasha’s eyes narrowed. “A mission?” She frowned. “Where?” 

“I’m pretty sure it’s all classified.” Clint shrugged. “But since you’re just going to hack the system later you might as well read over my shoulder.” The archer shrugged, eyes flickering back over the pages to read about the position he was trying to fill and his back story. His photographic memory would come in handy tomorrow when he was in the interview. His eyes might be staring at the pages of information, but his mind was still focused on what he had lost. 

“Clint, this is a suicide mission.” Natasha growled after a few minutes. “Fury is setting you up to see if you disappear.” 

“No.” Clint corrected playfully, not looking up from the notes. “Fury is setting me up to see if this company is using unwilling, or willing humans as test subjects in an attempt to create genetically altered soldiers.” 

“Same thing.” The redhead snorted.

The archer finally looked back at Natasha with a sigh. “Look, I’ll be fine, I need to get away. I need to be someone else for a while.” 

His ex-partner didn’t seem impressed. “You’re going to get yourself killed, your head isn’t in the game.” 

She had a point, Clint agreed silently as his eyes focused back onto the pages, but at the moment Barton could care less. He no longer had direction in life. All his life he had been searching for family and every single family he had had left him in some way or another. 

His father beat them and eventually ended up killing himself and his wife in a car accident. Barney, Clint’s elder brother had eventually left him behind for a life of crime. The Swordsman tried to kill him. Trickshot had betrayed him. Coulson had died. Natasha couldn’t love him. 

The Avengers had become his family, the one he had always wanted. One with loyal brothers who protected and cared for him. He finally had friends who accepted him for all of his oddities and faults. 

But that was over now. Now he had nothing and he only had himself to blame. 

“Clint,” Natasha’s voice had turned soft, capturing his full attention. She waited until his eyes found hers before continuing. “Promise me you wont give up.” 

“Nat – ” Barton started to shake his head. 

“No, Clint. Promise me you wont give up, okay? This thing with the Avengers, whatever happened, it’ll blow over.” 

A look entered the archer’s eyes, something of pain and defeat. “I’m not so sure, but I promise I won’t give up.” Clint found himself meeting her eyes. “For you.” He added, although he regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. Barton had pushed her to far once and lost her completely, he didn’t want to make the same mistake again. 

To his surprise, Natasha smiled. “Thanks.” She told him before standing. “I have to go, you aren’t the only person with a mission starting tomorrow.” The redhead smiled lightly before backing out of the room. “Clint?” She called just before she walked out the door. “Be careful.” 

__

Tony didn’t sleep that night. How could he? His world had been turned upside down. His best friend and his fiancé had betrayed him. Just the thought of Clint made Tony shake with anger and even though he had taken down all the pictures of Pepper he couldn’t stop crying.

He didn’t leave his lab until JARVIS had informed him that the rest of the team had retired for the night. Stark couldn’t bare the thought of discussing it yet. Granted there was no way to know if the others were aware of the injustice that had taken place. The betrayal. The backstabbing. 

Tony sighed, his room screamed of his love for Pepper. A love that was shattered the moment Clint had opened his stupid mouth. Why couldn’t he have just kept his mouth shut? Tony would have been happy had he never known. But that wasn’t the kind of guy Clint was. Clint had come clean, done the right thing only to pay for his honesty. 

No one walked away from this unscathed. Three relationships, destroyed. 

Maybe it didn’t have to end this way, maybe they could have worked it out, but Tony could barely breathe he was so angry. If he were Bruce the tower would be reduced to a small pile of rubble and ash. Clint had betrayed him, no, Pepper had. Pepper had kept a secret, Clint had told the truth. 

It was all so messed up, Tony wasn’t sure what to feel at the moment. He was hurt, but he had also hurt his best friend when Clint had done the right thing. Still Tony couldn’t stand the thought of looking at Clint, not after what had been revealed. 

There was too much pain. 

Morning came slowly and Tony found himself in the kitchen staring into the refrigerator without actually seeing anything. Ironically it was Pepper or Clint who typically made breakfast. 

“Tony?” Banner broke through Tony’s hazy thoughts. The doctor’s voice was dripping with concern. “What are you doing?” 

“Oh, Bruce.” Stark muttered, running his hand over his face before he shut the door and turned to face his partner in all things sciency. “You’re here.” He added awkwardly, waving his hand oddly before leaning his back against the counter. 

Banner’s eyes narrowed as he studied Tony’s posture. “Something wrong? And by that I mean, what’s wrong?” Bruce asked, moving to the cupboard to pull out a mug for his morning cup of caffeine. 

“Uh, Pepper moved out.” Stark admitted, voice quiet as the honesty fell from his lips. 

Bruce paused before he looked back at Tony, his eyes were filled with shock and confusion. “What? Why?” 

“Barton and her kissed when that terrorist group had them. I kicked him out of the tower, by the way.” Tony answered numbly. If anything, Banner’s eyes grew. 

“I-I just can’t see, is there more to the story?” Bruce shook his head in denial. 

Tony dropped his head a bit in defeat but nodded. “Clint told me yesterday, Pepper wanted to keep it a secret. I hate them both at the moment.” Stark shrugged not looking up at his companion. 

More silence followed before Banner spoke again. “So Clint, um, wanted to be upfront about this kiss.” 

With another sigh Stark looked up at Bruce and nodded. “Yeah, apparently Pepper has had a crush on him for a while. He didn’t know. I know it’s not really his fault, but I still hate him Bruce.” 

Banner nodded slowly, “I can understand why.” The doctor paused for a moment longer before he took an audible breath. “So, what are you going to do?” 

Tony could guess why Banner wanted to know. Clint was still an Avenger, they’d have to see and work together. “I’m still angry, furious really. I can’t see him right now, I don’t know what I’d say or do. I’ve already said some pretty unforgivable things.” Stark growled. He still didn’t feel bad about them, not yet anyway. Things were still too fresh for regret. 

Bruce nodded along, being very supportive. Tony was glad the green giant hadn’t taken Clint’s side. Although Banner hadn’t actually taken Tony’s side either. He was just being understanding, which was what Stark needed. 

“I don’t even know where he went last night.” Tony added, only half caring. 

“He went to SHIELD.” A new voice joined their conversation. One the science bro’s hadn’t heard in a long time. 

“Natasha?” Stark and Banner spoke the redhead’s name together as they faced her. Natasha looked just like she had before she left the Avengers a year ago, even if her hair was a little longer. 

She gave a little wave before settling in one of the stools next to the counter over looking the kitchen area. 

Bruce was the first to regain his voice. “What are you doing here? Not that we mind, of course, its just you never visit.” 

“Yeah, like ever.” Tony added, his shoulders tensing. “What, did Barton send you?” His voice was hard. Had Clint really gone crying to Natasha and did he really send her to test the waters for him?

“No, Clint doesn’t know I’m here.” Her eyes narrowed at Stark, but it was a hesitant gaze, as if she was unsure what to think about him. “You won’t have to worry about him coming back, though. Fury gave him a long term assignment.” 

“Really?” Bruce questioned, concern shinning through his tone. 

Tony’s heart sank a bit, mostly because he knew how that Bruce was neutral ground, not on his side or Clint’s. Like a good friend should be. The other reason he refused to dwell on. Clint could do whatever the hell he wanted. 

“I thought he didn’t work for SHIELD anymore.” Tony found himself growling, although he wasn’t sure exactly why he was asking. He didn’t care – he’d happily swear that he didn’t.

Natasha’s calculating eyes stared Stark down before she answered. “He resigned from the Avengers Initiative. He was real secretive with the details, but he was convinced he wouldn’t be welcome her anymore. He asked Fury for a mission and he got one that might get him killed.” 

“What?” Bruce gawked at her bluntness. 

“So why are you here?” Stark wondered out loud only to receive a glare from his two companions. Perhaps he should have waited until after the whole ‘Barton might die’ issue was finished being discussed. 

Natasha nodded slightly before she answer. “You’re down a teammate. Fury sent me to fill the vacancy.” 

“I’m sorry Tony,” Banner glanced at Stark before focusing on Natasha. “But what is the mission and why is it so dangerous?” 

The redhead rolled her eyes. “You know I can’t tell you that, Bruce. If the information gets out he will be killed.” She sighed, eyes sliding back to Tony who was staring down the contents of the mug Bruce had handed him as if coffee had become the most interesting thing in the world. 

Natasha pursed her lips slightly before she glared at Stark. “It was something you did.” She announced, gaining the two Avengers full attention once again. 

Tony’s eyes flashed in anger before he set the mug of coffee down on the counter next to him, splashing the contents around violently. “It wasn’t something I did.” He growled, causing Bruce to shrink back from the sudden break of tense calm. “He was the one who kissed Pepper.” Okay, he really should stop putting it like that. “I mean, Pepper kissed him – kissing occurred and it wasn’t with me.” Tony was near shouting now. 

As Tony’s voice rose, Bruce’s muscles tensed noticeably. “I think I’m going to go check something in the lab. It was nice to see you, Natasha.” Banner muttered before leaving the room. 

Once alone with Natasha Tony took in a sharp breath. “Look, I know it wasn’t really his fault, but I’m going through a ‘kill the messenger’ moment. I just learned that my fiancé is in love with my best friend. Just give me fucking time to process things.” 

With a puff of air Natasha stood, “Yeah, take your time.” Her tongue was sharp with sarcasm. “While you sit here and process just remember Clint’s out there thinking he lost another family by doing the right thing, again.” With a flip of her hair Natasha was heading down the hall, leaving Tony to ponder her words. “I’m taking my old room back.”


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

By the time Clint arrived in Nowheresville Michigan he was exhausted. After the emotional roller coaster Clint had ridden, the archer hadn’t felt much like sleeping. Before and after the revelation the guilt had been crushing. Ever since this whole mess started Clint had been having the worse nightmares. Everything that haunted him from his past was revisited in the darkest ways and this time there was no one was to rescue him. In his nightmares the Avengers didn’t exist – just pain and fierce loneliness. 

With his eyelids fighting gravity Clint found himself half-heartedly glancing around his new home. The apartment Fury had set him up was well stocked, as all SHIELD safe houses were. Filled with fake pictures and boxes filled of things Clint’s persona would have. 

Ignoring the boxes Clint immediately headed towards the bedroom in the back. Without so much as a glance around the room Barton fell face down and fully clothed on top of his naked mattress. No sheets, no pillows – it didn’t matter. Clint’s mind wanted to switch off and there was no stopping it.

In his dreams Clint’s mind brought him back to that day. 

They had been kept in a metal barred cage. The guards had joked saying they had finally caged the infamous hawk. Pepper had been terrified, curled in on herself in the corner. Clint had done his best to protect her, always placing himself between her and whoever was around. 

Barton had done it because Tony loved her and Pepper was like the sister he had never had. 

“Another day,” Ryan Keen, the lead asshole told as he paced on the free side of the bars. 

At this point Clint was in pretty bad shape, his back and chest were a mess of bloody scrapes and bone deep bruises. Nothing by itself was life threatening, however the archer had lost a good deal of blood and a few of the deeper cuts were showing signs of infection. He wouldn’t last much longer if his condition worsened. 

“Observant.” Barton kept things simple. Being too chatty the first night hadn’t ended so well for him, or Pepper for that matter since Clint had been unconscious and unable to protect her. As far as Pepper had revealed they hadn’t done anything but frightened her and asked a lot of questions. One of the men had hit her – he of course met a swift and timely end once Pepper had informed Clint of his crimes. 

Keen smirked, playing with the bloodied knife in his hands. “This could be so much easier for you, Agent Barton. If you or Miss Potts would simply give me the information I desire, we will let you go.” 

Clint gave a snort. “And by ‘let us go’ you mean give us a swift death, right?” 

Pepper gasped lightly at his bluntness somewhere behind him, but she was pointedly ignored.

“It would be kinder than your current future with us.” Keen said with a light shrug of his shoulder. “Do you know what we do to break men, Agent Barton?” 

Although his tongue had come up with several witty results, Clint kept wisely silent. 

Keen smile grew as he stood on the opposite side of the bars from Clint. “We take him apart piece by piece. Starting with what makes him unique.” The man paused, letting his words take effect. 

They really didn’t, Clint had spent most of his career at SHIELD being threatened in some way or other. Behind the seasoned agent, however, Pepper whimpered audibly. 

Not wanting Keen’s twisted attention to be turned towards his best friend’s girl, Clint decided to push his own luck. “Oh really, that’s what you’ve been doing.” The archer scoffed daringly. “Well, hate to break it to you Keen, but I’ve been tortured by men more creative than you.” Barton smirked lightly, letting his eyes travel up and down the man’s profile. “They at least tried to look intimidating, the suits over played.”

Clint saw the anger flash in the man’s eye and knew two things automatically: Clint had Keen’s full-undivided attention and the archer would be in a lot of pain soon. 

“You will regret your words.” Ryan Keen promised, pulling away from the bars and signaling to his men to enter the cage and restrain his prisoner. They did so dragging Clint out to stand in front of his captor. 

Barton fought, but not nearly as hard as he had the first few days of their captivity. He was exhausted and undernourished. The small about of food they were given went to Pepper who was too skinny to lose anymore more weight. Clint had told her he was fine, but that was becoming more of a lie with every passing moment. 

It didn’t take long for the men to wrestle Barton into a metal chair and secure him in place with his hands restrained behind his back with a pair of silver cuffs. Clint glared but remained quiet – he was in enough trouble at the moment. 

The knife came and hovered in front of his right eye, trailing down the side of his face towards his neck – never touching the skin as it traveled out of sight. Clint’s eyes remained locked with Keen’s as they both stood their ground. 

When the knife finally slid into his side Clint reacted with the barest of flinches. Slowly the blade started to twist inside his body, earning Keen a wince and a growl when metal scraped bone and tore through fragile muscle and flesh. 

It hurt. It felt like fire spreading through Clint’s nerves – pulsating throughout his body. 

“Scream, you bastard.” Ryan hissed, the bastards face scrunched up in frustration. 

Instead of doing as requested, Clint had laughed. The sound was sharp and sat somewhere between sarcastic and hysterical.

“Stop!” A new voice joined the two, capturing their attention. Pepper was standing next to the bars, tears streaming down her face as she stared at the blood spilling out of Clint’s new knife wound. 

The two men watched her for a second in surprise before Keen’s face twisted up in a new expression – enlightenment. 

“Pepper, I’m fine.” Clint told her sharply, realizing the technique of interrogation was about to change. “Just stay bac – ” a thin cloth cut off the last word, drawing Clint’s head back as the gag was tied securely against the back of his head. Barton glared, but couldn’t do much more then mumble obscured curses through the cloth. 

“Miss Potts,” Keen directed his eyes from Clint to the crying woman. “You have the floor. If you tell me where Stark’s current project is hidden this will all stop.” 

Pepper looked horrified. “I-I can’t.” Her eyes were wide and glistening as she stared into Clint’s warning eyes. Without words Barton managed to tell her to shut up. 

“Perhaps not.” Keen smirked, letting the tip of the knife enter the flesh on Clint’s back. “Not yet, anyway. How much pain do you think Agent Barton can stand? He keeps up a vary convincing game face, doesn’t he?” 

“Why? Why would you even be interested in that project? It only works with one specific thing, it would be useless to you.” Pepper’s voice was desperate, but truthful. Clint knew enough about the project to know she wasn’t lying. 

Keen shook his head, trailing the knife through skin along the back of Clint’s shoulders. “My employer seems to believe otherwise. Either way I will get paid.” Ryan sighed, pulling the knife away from his captive’s flesh. “Miss Potts, I am not a cruel man. This messy business doesn’t please me.” 

That was a lie if he had ever heard one, Barton thought as he rolled his eyes. 

“Now, now, Agent Barton.” Keen cooed when he noticed Clint’s reaction. The knife was waving in front of the archer’s eyes again. “It’s the truth. I would much rather just have you tell me the information then to go through all this unpleasantness.” 

Pepper’s eyes met Clint’s and for a brief moment he was truly afraid she would simply give the bastard the information. With a quick shake of his head he silenced her again, although her will was fading fast. 

“Miss Potts, I do not wish to harm a woman as beautiful as yourself. However, once Agent Barton has expired I will have no choice in the matter.” Keen sighed, as if he really wasn’t looking forward to harming her. “I can tell you are loyal, Miss Potts. I’ll give you time to say goodbye to this man. Soon it will be just us.” The threat was underlined in the man’s fake sorrowful tone. 

With another signal Clint was released from his chair and returned to the cage, thrown in unceremoniously with his hands still restricted behind his back. The archer landed with a solid grunt. Failing at an attempt to twist and save his side from more damage – something felt like it tore on impact and a new onslaught of pain washed over the downed archer. 

Barton knew he must have blacked out for a minute because when he blinked Pepper had placed his head in her lap. Tears spilt down her face and onto his cheek as she quietly sobbed. 

The gag had been removed, which was nice. “They – they aren’t going to kill me.” Clint tried to reassure her.

“How can you be sure? How can you be sure they won’t come back and kill you?” Pepper cried openly. “I can’t do this alone, please. I won’t survive this alone.” 

Clint sighed, there was a good chance he was about to die, but there was a better chance that Keen was bluffing. There was also a chance that Tony and the others would show up soon. Clint really hoped the Avengers would show up soon. 

Before Clint could say anything else he felt chapped lips press down on his, startling his eyes back open. Pulling back he looked up at Pepper in shock and horror. “What – what are you doing?”

“I love you.” Pepper announced, eyes watering again as she looked down at Clint. “I had to tell you, just in case.” She dipped her head down again, probably with the intent to kiss Barton again only for the agent to turn away. Pepper pulled back, her eyes filled with hurt. “Please?” She asked only to be denied. 

“I can’t.” Clint managed to form the words, a numbness spreading in his soul. “I can’t do that to Tony. I don’t – I don’t see you like that. Not like that.” He watched as her eyes filled with despair and suddenly it felt like Keen’s knife had slid into his heart. “I’m sorry, I can’t.” Clint closed his eyes. 

He opened them again and it took a moment for him to realize he was on a bed. The physical pain was gone but the emotional pain was overwhelming. Turning onto his back Clint stared up at the ceiling of his new bedroom. He wondered if the others were aware of what happened yet – if Tony had talked with Pepper. 

It was none of his business now, and he had a meeting to get ready for.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Sweat dripped down the side of Stark's face as he slammed his fists rhythmically into Steve's punching bag down in the gym. After breakfast Tony hadn't felt much like socializing. Natasha's words bothered Stark, although everything about this situation did.

Yes, Tony realize that Clint had been honest with him. He even dared to think that maybe Clint had been a victim in this too. And yes, Tony was starting to feel the tell tale signs of guilt. However, it had been less than twenty-four hours since the issue had come to light.

Tony was still struggling to figure out how he felt in the wake of Clint's confession and what he wanted to do. Filtering through his emotions wasn't exactly a fun extra curricular activity, but this wasn't something Tony could burry down.

Mad, Stark was very aware of his anger. Tony wasn't sure who the anger was directed at anymore – maybe himself.

Sad, his first ever, long-term relationship had crashed and burned and he hadn't even been the driver – just the victim. The guy sitting in the back seat of the car, not wearing a seat belt, ejected through the windshield on impact. Tony could picture Pepper as the stunned driver and Clint knocked unconscious in the front seat.

Tony was pretty sure he never wanted to be the victim again. Like ever.

Confusion, Tony had been severely blindsided by this entire mess. One minute he was thrilled that everything had turned out okay after Keen and then in a flash everything wasn't okay – not even close to okay.

The hurt was the worst part of it all. It felt as if Tony's heart had been ripped out of his chest, shredded by a wood chipper and then spread out and crushed into broken shards of glass. There was nothing left in his chest but emptiness and pain.

With one last thrust of his fist Tony collapsed against the bag, a sob escaping from his chest as tears mingled with beads of sweat dripping down the side of his face. This wasn't how it was suppose to go. He was supposed to marry Pepper, they were supposed to live happily ever after. Clint was going to be his best man. Now there was nothing left, no hope of a happy ending.

"Tony?" The sound of Steve's voice pulled Stark from his spiraling thoughts. Slowly Tony pulled away from the punching bag and looked over at Captain America. Steve looked lost too, probably wondering why Tony Ironman Stark was crying alone in the gym.

Wiping the moisture from his face Stark turned his back on his new companion as he tried to regain some semblance of composure. "Cap, sorry. I know this is your bag, but I thought I'd take a swing at it – beating inanimate objects seemed to make you feel better, I was hoping it would work for me. Hope you don't mind."

"Tony, it's really your bag, not mine. You did buy it." Rogers pointed out kindly. "Are you alright?"

"Bought it for you." Stark pointed out weakly, ignoring the question as he turned around to look at Steve. "It's yours." Tony let out a shaky sigh. "I take care of my friends, don't I? I treat you guys well. At least I thought I did."

If anything Tony's words made Steve looked even more confused. "Tony, do you want me to get Pepper for you – "

"Pepper's gone, Cap." Tony announced numbly. It felt like this story was a bad audio book stuck on repeat. It would get worse, of course. The news reports would be all over this thing like flies on week old road kill. "Her and Clint," Tony continued absentmindedly, his eyes sliding back to the gently swinging bag. "They're both gone."

"We got them back." Steve tried reminding him. Yeah, like Tony could forget.

Tony remembered blasting his way into that room. He remembered seeing Clint lying lifeless in his pale fiancé's lap and he would never forget the blood staining Pepper's hands. She had almost been as pale as Barton – the color of death.

With a few blinks of his eyes Tony returned his focus to the present. Steve still looked concern. The super soldier's expression reading 'oh crap, Tony's lost his mind.' Of course it was a look Stark got often enough that he recognized it right away.

"Yeah," The millionaire sighed out. "But we've lost them again. Possibly for forever."

"What?" Rogers asked, paling as he took a step back and reached for his phone. It took Tony a second to realize Steve thought they had been taken again. If only that was the problem.

"Chill, Steve. They aren't in danger. Well, at least I don't think so. Pepper kissed Clint, I kicked them both out of the tower." Funny, Tony thought darkly to himself. Explaining the situation was getting somewhat easier. Well, maybe not. It still hurt like hell.

Steve stiffened visibly, frozen in place. "You, they – " Captain America stumbled over his words. The soldier took a second to recover and collect the right words. Maybe not the right words, but words strung up in a sentence that made a semblance of sense. "What are you going to do?"

Tony let out a heavy sigh and half-heartedly struck at the punching bag, which barely moved from the lack of strength behind the impact. "People keep asking me about that. It just happened, I don't know. I don't know what I want to do, what I should do. All I know is I hate them both."

There was a pause in conversation with neither man looking at the other.

"Who told you?" Steve asked eventually, his voice non-judgmental. Actually, Tony couldn't tell what the super soldier was thinking. He was worried, Stark decided, but of what, Tony didn't know.

"Clint. He said he couldn't live with the lie." Tony answered with a small nod. It was becoming more and more apparent to him that his reaction and words to Clint had been rash and wrong. Still, Tony was a hardheaded fool, he wouldn't apologize – it wasn't his style. "He said it didn't mean anything."

Steve's eyes dropped to the floor for a moment and Tony felt his own shoulders tensing in anticipation for a lecture.

"It sounds like Clint did the right thing." Rogers started calmly, waiting for Tony to look back at him before continuing. "Do you think you can forgive him?"

"At the moment?" Tony took in a sharp breath and shook his head slowly. "I know it wasn't really him. I mean, it was, but it wasn't. He was probably as blindsided as me. He sounded guilty," Tony flinched and shook his head again. "I mean he sounded like he felt guilty. He sounded innocent. I just didn't want to – I just couldn't listen you know? Hearing that, I could barely believe it, Steve. He shouldn't have said anything – everything was fine!"

As Tony spoke his voice rose and the word flow quickened.

"Tony, you were going to marry her, isn't it best you know now?" Steve tried to reason. "It's a terrible truth, but it was the truth."

Red spilled over Tony's vision. He sputtered, unable to form the words rushing through his mind. How dare Steve bring up the engagement. It was none of his business. Besides, the man was right and Tony absolutely hated that. Stark deflated as quickly as the anger filled him. "You're right, I know that. It just – "

"It hurts." Steve finished easily for him, never losing his sympathy. "It hurts you, it hurts everyone."

"I just don't understand why this happened." Tony admitted weakly, studying the floor as if it were the most complicated math calculation he'd ever seen. "I don't know what to do."

"You move on." Steve offered his own counseling. "It'll be hard, and you'll be angry for a long time at everyone involved or anyone who mentions it – "

"Is this supposed to be a pep-talk?" Tony interrupted harshly. "Because it sucks."

"Don't destroy something that can be saved." Steve ignored the millionaire and pushed forward. "Do you still think you can be friends with Clint? He was honest with you. Like you said, Clint could have kept the secret from you and you could have ended up in a loveless marriage."

"You think I should get Clint to come back?" Tony asked after another stretch of silence.

"I think you should talk to him, let Barton know how you feel." Steve encouraged. "You said it yourself, Clint feels guilty. If you want to salvage your friendship, you should start now, before things get worse."

"What if I make things worse by talking to him too early?" Tony questioned weakly. "I'm really angry, Steve."

"What if you make things better?" Steve offered quietly before backing out of the room. Tony watched as the man walked away but didn't make to stop him. Instead he welcomed the time to think alone. People were continually putting pressure on him to fix this and make Clint feel better – Tony wanted that too. He also wanted this all to be a really bad, terrible dream and wake up and have everything be fine, but that wasn't going to happen.

Right now Tony needed to think things through and once he leveled out his anger and other assorted emotions he'd ask Romanoff where he could find Clint.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Clint went through the motions as he got ready for his meeting. It was surprising but he had gotten a decent amount of sleep, even if it had been filled with nightmares – they were probably deserved.

The meeting was scheduled for two that afternoon. Clint would be meeting his new employer, the same guy that may or may not be behind the disappearance of his workers.

Time ticked by slowly and Barton did his best not to think too hard about anything in particular. No subject was a safe subject at the moment.

Once he had showered, shaved and changed into fresh clothes Clint headed out, but took his time driving around town. It didn't take long to see all of it. There wasn't much to it. A few shops, a gas station, a coffee shop he planned on visiting later, and a grocery store.

He actually had to drive a fair distance out of town to get to SMRF. It was a large facility, not as big as most of SHIELD's research facilities, but decent sized non-the-less.

Clint was the picture of calm on the outside as he stepped into the office of his new employer. The man behind the desk was well dressed with a smile plastered on his face as he stood to greet Barton.

Michael Swift was a little older than Tony Stark and it was clear by a glance around the massive office space that the two rich men had similar tastes.

Clint nearly winced when he thought of his lost friendship.

As quickly as the thoughts had popped into his mind Clint shut that side of his brain down. Thinking up those kinds of distractions would possibly get Clint killed. Right now he wasn't Clinton Barton the failed Avenger, he was Aaron Quinn a twenty-eight year old Marine.

"Master Sergeant Aaron Quinn," Swift greeted with an offered hand. Clint, no, Aaron reached out with a smile and gave his new boss's hand a firm shake as the man continued to speak. "I've been looking forward to meeting you."

"I'm glad to be here, sir." Clint kept his face neutral – it was easy to fall into 'soldier' mode. Honestly it was first hand nature for the archer. Before the Avengers Clint had played soldier every day working with SHIELD. He'd been following orders for the better portion of his life.

Swift motioned a hand towards the empty leather chair across from his large mahogany desk. Clint nodded and took the offered chair, but remained at straight-backed attention as he waited for Michael Swift to start the interview.

"You've come highly recommended." The older man started the interview off, hands folded in front of his chin with his elbows propped up on his chairs armrests. "Your superior officers seemed rather sad to lose you. Is it true you just got back from your second tour?"

"Yes, sir." Clint answered dutifully. "I got in earlier today actually, my apartment is still full of boxes."

The CEO of the Sound Medical Research Facility looked surprised, but Clint saw it was a mask. There was a lit in in Swift's eyes that told Clint he was already he was being spied on, which was a good sign that Fury's concerns about the company were well placed.

"I know you must be tired, perhaps we should put this meeting off until tomorrow? Wait until you are well rested." Swift offered kindly, standing as if it were a done deal. If Clint wasn't so used to being around liars he might have believed Swift from his outward sincerity.

"No, sir. I'm good to go." Clint assured, although he stood with the older man, the motion was more out of reflex than a gesture of respect. "Anything you've scheduled I can handle."

Michael Swift smirked slightly and nodded, silently they both sat back down. "I should warn you that you're required to undergo a rather extensive medical exam. It is scheduled for after this meeting, but I can reschedule it for tomorrow if you would like."

Clint didn't have to act when he raised his eyebrows in surprise. "My superior officer should have sent you my medical file. I had a complete work up done a few days ago before I was discharged from the army hospital." Which was true, sort of.

Clint had a work up when he was recovering at a SHIELD facility after the Keen debacle. Fury had changed the basic data, like how Clint's injuries had happened, but all the medical mumbo jumbo was the same.

"I received the file and have no doubt that the military has reliable doctors," Swift nodded along slightly with his words, "However, we run tests that they don't. Screens to make sure that you are as healthy as possible while you work for us."

"What kind of tests?" Clint asked, as much for himself as SHIELD. This seemed a little suspicious. Although, this was a medical research facility, it was their job to research people medically.

"The extra tests are for your protection, of course. You haven't read over the contract yet, but we work with powerful and unusual drugs here, if – God forbid – something harmful were to spill we need a base line of samples to make sure you aren't exposed to anything harmful."

"I guess that makes sense." Clint conceded, but he didn't exactly feel thrilled about it. It was a little frightening to the agent how Swift's explanation made sense. A lot of people – probably everyone that worked at SMRF – probably believed it, except for those who were in on the joke. If there was a joke to be had.

Michael nodded as he looked at Clint with sympathy, "I am well aware of how you military men are with medical personal, however I hand picked the doctor that will be working with you. I believe you will be pleased. I can assure you that my people will treat you with the highest respect."

Swift looked very comfortable behind his mahogany desk and he gave Clint a toothy smile. "Now, shall we finish this interview so you can finish up here and get home and rest?"

"Sounds good," Clint nodded sharply, trying not to dwell on the fact that he was going to spend the rest of the afternoon getting pricked by needles. It wasn't that Barton feared sharp objects – and if he did, he'd never admit it out loud – he just didn't want to add any more holes to the already impressive collection on his scarred body.

The two men sat chatting back and forth with each other, Swift asking Barton the typical final interview questions.

Twenty minutes passed by before Michael set aside the folder he'd been reading the questions from and focused his attention fully on Clint once more. "I'm curious, Sergeant. Why did you choose are little facility to work at? You had you're pick to go anywhere you'd like and I hope you don't take offense, but you seem to be more of a city man."

Clint smirked a little at the comment, he might look like he belonged in a city, but he could hold his own just about anywhere and under any condition. "I needed a change." He answered and sighed deeply. Once again he was grateful for his photographic memory. He was also grateful for the cover story Director Fury had given him. It was more than easy for him to play his part.

"I lost my wife and unborn child while I was overseas, I couldn't even attend the funeral." Taking in a shaky breath Clint looked across the desk at Swift. "I need a change. I need to be somewhere I can put the pieces of my life back together again."

"I'm sorry for your loss." Michael spoke honestly, but there was a careful edge to his expression. "What about family? I know you have no living relatives, but is there anyone you can speak with about this devastation? Any sort of support group?"

Clint shook his head, eyes filled with the loss and sadness he honestly felt. "No, there is no one. Her family never liked me." There was a short pause before Clint forced himself back into attention, pushing the emotions back behind the safety barrier. "None of my past will affect the work I do here, sir. I'm fine."

"I have no doubt, Sergeant." Swift leaned forward in his chair as he spoke. "However, if you feel the need, I can arrange for you to meet with one of our psychologists."

"I will keep that in mind, sir." Clint kept his words tight and controlled, projecting calm assurance.

Swift nodded and pushed a stack of papers across the desk topped with an expensive looking ballpoint pen. "I have several things I'll need you to sign, confidentiality agreements and the like. If you would like to have a lawyer present for the signing, you are welcomed to make any necessary calls."

"Thank you sure, but I can read just fine." Clint smirked a little. It took another hour to read and sign all the forms. Once again Clint was grateful for his photographic memory. He'd be able to type up each form later when he finally got to go back to the apartment.

Once the last form was signed the two men stood and shook hands. "My assistant will set you up with your schedule and you will meet your supervisor before you leave today. Doctor Simon Randle should be waiting for you in the lobby, he will take you to the labs for the tests. It's been a pleasure to meet you, Sergeant."

"Thank you for the opportunity, sir." Clint responded before he was led to the door. Waiting for him, as Swift had said, was a pretty young girl and a gruff looking doctor. After getting set up with his schedule from Jennifer, Doctor Randle escorted Clint down to the labs.

As soon as they were alone together, which was odd enough since medical personal tended to run in packs, Clint got a sharp vibe off of the older man that set the agent within him on alert. At first nothing was out of the ordinary, standard tests were run. Still there was something about the man that made Clint watched Simon Randle like a hawk.

It was clear that Simon was growing annoyed with the constant supervision and attention Clint was showing, but after one particular scan that annoyance seemed to vanish. The impending doom feeling dwelling in the archer's chest went away as well, causing Clint to wonder if he had imagined the danger.

The testing took longer than Clint was used to and Dr. Randle was suddenly pulled away by a knock on the exam room door at one point. It took exactly fifteen minutes and forty-two point five seconds for Randle to return – not that Clint was counting, of course.

"Not to complain, Doc, but are we done yet?" Clint asked ten minutes later when Randle drew yet another vile of blood.

"Almost, I'd like to have a better look at your recent injuries." Randle announced, setting the fresh vile of blood in a refrigerator on a tray with other samples taken from Clint. "If you would please, take off your shirt."

It took all the restraint Clint had not to roll his eyes at the request, but he managed to do as told with little to no resistance. Peeling off his shirt Clint shivered lightly at the chilly air as it touched his bare skin.

Randle came closer, eyes scanning Clint's scarred body as his white-gloved hands brushed Barton's vulnerable skin.

"These seem to be healing nicely." The doctor announced when he circled around Clint, his unfamiliar fingers trailing over the deepest gash on the back of archer's shoulders and then the stab wound on his side.

Suddenly Clint missed Bruce, the one doctor in his life that he had trusted with his life. When Clint had joined the Avengers after Loki, Bruce had been one of the forces that had kept the archer alive during that dark time. The depression and guilt had almost crushed the hawk, but it was the team who saved Clint's life.

Silently Clint wondered if anyone would save him now.

"I've been told I'm a fast healer." Clint offered casually as his muscles tightening under Randle's uncomfortable touch. The doctor's fingers continued to probe fresh scars on the archer's naked chest until finally they pulled away for good.

"Well, Sergeant, I'm satisfied that you can begin work here tomorrow." Randle announced, pulling further away, much to Clint's delight. Barton made a mental note to avoid Randle if at all possible, the guy made Clint's hair stand on end.

"Thank you, sir." Clint responded, covering his exposed skin with his shirt without asking or waiting for permission. Without really thinking about the consequences of having so much blood removed from his body, Clint hopped off the exam table and promptly fell over, catching himself weakly on the table across from him.

"Careful, there." Randle grabbed ahold of Clint's arm, guiding him over to a chair.

"I'm fine," Clint tried to wave the doctor off. A big part of Clint's mind wanted to run away from the man, but the world was spinning rather violently at the moment and he wasn't sure which way to go.

Randle shook his head with a hint of amusement, "Just give yourself a moment. I've seen men twice your size faint from the amount of blood I drew."

Not wanting to risk rolling his eyes – if only for the sake of his stomach – Clint simply glared at the man. At least Bruce would have warned him. Although, in all honesty Clint probably should have realized the problem before it became an issue – this was another reminder that his head wasn't in the game.

"Take your time," Randle suggested, patting Barton's shoulder as if they were old friends. Once again Clint's mind flashed a red warning of alert. Something was extremely off with the man. First the man had come off as almost hostile, now he was overly friendly. Something was definitely up with the man.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Over the next few days Tony did what he was best at – he buried his emotions. When questioned about Clint or Pepper the billionaire would come up with some witty retort and either walk away or quickly change the subject. There were an abundance of bright smiles and boatloads of inappropriate jokes, but the Avengers were a family and they knew that Tony was just trying to deal with everything in his own twisted way.

There were small things that were immediately noticed in Clint and Pepper's absence. Like metaphorical holes in the wall, there were gaps in the team.

Clint had become the primary cook of the Avengers Initiative about a month after the battle. Without the archer meals became a minefield of eggshells around Tony. Typically after Steve or Thor stared into the refrigerator or cupboards for a while someone, usually Bruce or Natasha, would suggest some form of take out.

A week after the fallout the water in the tower was turned off. Pepper had always dealt with the bills and financial side of Stark Industries and the newly appointed CEO had dropped more than one ball as she struggled to do everything with half the efficiency Pepper had.

There were small things too. Every once in a while someone would forget that Clint was gone and ask JARVIS where the archer was.

The team tried to give Tony space to work things out for himself, even though they all felt the loss of their teammate.

In secret Bruce had to calm both Natasha and Steve down over the subject.

"I want to kill her," Natasha raved one night, bursting into Banner's lab without invitation. She was seething with anger for some reason. Normally the female assassin was well controlled when it came to her emotions. Whatever had happened had set her off in a bad way.

Clearing his throat awkwardly Bruce set his glasses aside and turned from his microscope to face the angry redhead. "I don't think murdering Pepper will help solve our problems. In fact, I'm pretty sure that might make things worse."

Natasha sent a glare accompanied with a shiver down Banner's spine.

"It would make me feel better." She stated, barely keeping her voice even with all her overflowing rage.

There were very few times where Bruce saw Natasha lose her cool. All of those times tended to coincide with Clint in some way. Silently the doctor wondered why the two assassin's relationship hadn't worked out – he knew better than to inquire about it.

With a sigh Bruce crossed his arms protectively over his chest, more a habit now than something done out of necessity. He was safe with his family, even if Natasha was threatening death.

"Do you want to talk about what's really bothering you?" Banner asked with an uneasy smile. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the details, however something had set the Russian off.

"No." Natasha huffed and crossed her arms over her chest as she forcefully leaned against a table. Bruce barely had time to open his mouth before she continued, cutting him off. "It's just that Tony is an idiot."

"A common accusation considering that Tony is considered one of the world's smartest men in history." Bruce interjected playfully.

Natasha simply glared before continuing. "Clint did nothing wrong, it's time for him to come home."

If he hadn't been paying attention, Bruce would have missed it. That flicker in Natasha's eyes – she was worried. Actually, Banner corrected himself, she was terrified for her ex-partner's safety.

"Clint's a clever guy, he'll be fine." Bruce offered kindly.

Natasha's anger deflated before the doctor's eyes. "Even Fury regrets sending him on this mission. It's looking more and more like – " Her voice faded before the sentence was complete. Few details were said about Clint's current mission. All the information given to the Avengers, with the exception of Natasha, was that it was a long term, deep undercover and dangerous mission.

And honestly hearing that Director Fury was regretting his absolute decision made Bruce's heart turn sharply with worry.

If Tony had been behaving more like himself, the billionaire would have already hacked into SHIELD's files and retrieved all the dirty details of the mission. Steve would have concocted some sort of rescue plan and at the first sign of danger, Clint would be pulled out – not by Fury or SHIELD, but by his team – by the Avengers themselves.

Tony, however, was in the middle of mending his broken heart, which from Bruce's prospective seemed to be Stark putting a puzzle together with some of the pieces missing.

"We can't rush him on this," Bruce found himself saying, eyes studying the ground. "Tony has to be the one to decide when he's ready. He'll make the right choice, Natasha, he probably already knows what he's going to do."

Natasha nodded mutely before silently leaving the lab, apparently her need for companionship had been used up.

Steve's entrance was a little less dramatic than Natasha's. He came late that night, hair damp from a shower. Without much thought Bruce deduced that the Captain had been consoling his punching bag for answers – it appeared as if the man had been denied.

For a few moments the men sat in silence, Bruce reading from his stack of papers as Steve gathered his thoughts into words.

"I don't know how to fix this." Rogers admitted finally, his eyes locking with Bruce's surprised gaze.

"I'm not sure it's your job." Bruce pointed out kindly. "Matters of the heart really have no place on the battle field. You can't control emotions." Bruce frowned at his own words. "Well, not other people's emotions anyway." The doctor's frown increased slightly as his eyes squinted slightly. "Actually, I suppose if you had the right mutated gene it could be possible to control – "

"I get it doc." Steve smirked a bit as he cut Bruce off.

Banner grinned momentarily before he sobered. "I think we all want an easy fix to this, Steve. Even Clint and Tony, we all want things to go back to how they used to be, but that's just not possible. I think in the end it will work out, but right now we have to be patient, supportive and hope for the best."

"Supportive, huh?" Steve nodded with a small smirk playing on his lips as he looked over at Bruce. "Yeah, that sounds like something I can do."

The two men sat in compatible silence for a bit while Bruce worked. Eventually Steve stood and wished Bruce a goodnight before heading off to bed.

Bruce remained in his lab for a while longer before he set his glasses down for the night. Rubbing his eyes wearily Banner wondered absently when he became the teams psychologist.

A second week past before Tony made his decision. It was after a battle that had almost ended in tragedy.

Some asshole had sent a swarm of mutant birds to attack the great city of New York. Half way through the battle they had been informed the master mind was some idiot with a grudge against Bruce – who was currently Hulked out and making a game out of swatting the oversized birds from the sky.

Unfortunately the size of the bird army was proving to be too much for the team to handle.

Stark was the only air support they had with Hawkeye gone. Thor was off on Asgard, leaving Natasha, Steve, the Hulk, and Tony two men down.

"This is bad guys, Hawkeye, cover Natasha, she's getting swarmed!" Tony shouted somewhere near the middle of the battle.

There was an awkward pause before Steve responded. "Ironman, Hawkeye isn't here." It was a gentle revelation followed by, "can you help her?"

It was with great anger that Ironman turned the ties of the battle. He not only saved Natasha from becoming bird-food, he leveled the playing field. The battle was over within the hour and for once Stark didn't stick around for the media, instead he jetted back to the tower without a word to the others.

None of the Avengers saw or spoke to Tony for the next twenty-four hours. When he left the confinements of his lab, Stark went in search of one person.

Since returning to the tower Natasha had spent a lot of time in a place reserved primarily for Clint – the roof. Tony found her there. She didn't have to turn from her perch to know who was behind her.

"Where is he?" Tony asked quietly.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Clint was bored.

At first the heart crushing guilt kept the archer's mind occupied, but once that had faded into the background – mostly because Barton had convinced himself he couldn't afford the distraction – Clint found himself alone and saddled with a lot of time on his hands.

With the exception of his first meeting with Swift and the medical exam from hell he had endured, there didn't seem to be anything off happening in Nowheresville Michigan.

Clint wasn't allowed in the actual building, but was kept watching the outside parameter making sure only registered personal entered the premises. Most of the important employees were long gone by the time Clint's shift started, so he only had a list of names – names that could be fake for all he knew.

It was the most boring job Clint had ever had to deal with. Long-term undercover jobs had that effect on him. Barton was a man of action, even as a sniper, and there didn't appear to be much action here.

It was easy living in the town, the people were friendly, if a bit nosy. The old lady that owned the local café had pretty much adopted Clint as soon as she'd laid eyes on him. Margret was one of the nicest women Clint had ever met – for some reason old women tended to want to 'mother' Clint.

He'd deny it until the day he died, but Clint didn't mind the attention so much. Gloria Barton had been a good mother while she had been alive. A little naive to think her drunk of a husband would ever change, but kind none-the-less – but Clint's mother had been taken from him too soon. With Margret and the other old ladies in his life, it was like the Universe was trying to make up for his loss in some small way.

Unfortunately Margret had her eye on making Clint her granddaughter's future husband. Sure, Cecilia was a cute girl, but too young and innocent. Clint knew he'd only corrupt her.

Clint's schedule had him working night shifts, leaving him battling with the sun and nightmares for sleep during the daytime. Needless to say not only was Clint bored, but he was exhausted as well.

It was the beginning of his third week of self-exile when Clint walked through his front door and tossed his keys lazily on a nearby table before shuffling towards his bedroom in the back. He didn't change out of his work issued uniform – which was far less comfortable than his SHIELD uniform was. Instead Clint dropped face first on the bed and closed his eyes.

It felt like two seconds had gone by when his doorbell chimed.

With a groan Clint forced himself to roll out of bed. He prayed it wasn't Sarah with another casserole or some other baked goods. With a pause at his bedroom door Clint took back that thought – he was kind of hungry and there was nothing in the apartment to cook with – a casserole sounded amazing.

Running a hand through his sleep tossed hair Clint opened the door.

It took him a little longer than a second to recover.

Standing before him, dressed in a dark suit and expensive shades was Tony Stark.

Instantly Clint was fully awake. Ever since he had arrived at this apartment, Clint had known he was being monitored by Swift. If Tony wasn't careful, and when was the billionaire ever careful? Clint's cover might be blown.

Of course, if Stark was here there had to be a damned good reason. Maybe his cover had already been blown.

Wisely, Clint waited for Tony to speak first.

The archer wasn't sure what frightened him more, that Stark would blow his cover or what Stark had come there to say.

"Mr. Quinn, you look tired." The smile that adorned Tony's face was a beautifully crafted mask; Clint recognized it immediately because he'd built a few of his own over the years.

Okay, so Tony wasn't here to blow his cover, and he seemed to be aware that they were being monitored.

"Mr. Stark." Clint greeted cautiously once he found his voice.

The two men stood awkwardly for a moment, eyeing one another in question and masked fear.

"Uh, so what have I done to deserve a visit from a billionaire superhero?" Clint asked, his voice just missing the tone of genuine casual humor.

"You said 'no,'" Tony smiled too brightly. "I don't take rejection well. I've come to reoffer you a job."

Clint blinked, but remembered his cover story. His alias had been offered a security job with Stark Industries. For a moment Clint frowned, had this been part of the plan all along? Fury was a sneaky bastard, there was a chance that he had set up a way for Clint to back out of the mission.

Dropping his gaze Clint found it hard to look at Stark. It was an act, but to what degree? Who put Tony up to this?

"I'm sorry if I offended you, sir." Clint offered finally, the statement having duel meanings. Clint wanted Tony to know he was sorry, that he hadn't stopped being sorry during his exile. "I thought I could do some good here."

"No, I'm not offended. I enjoy a challenge." The cheer in Tony's voice made Clint look up sharply. "I've come to take you out to dinner and give you another proposal, one I know you cannot refuse."

Clint glanced behind Tony as he spoke and eyed his limo curiously. They'd be able to speak without worry in there. No bugs or cameras waiting to reveal that Clint was a spy.

"My father taught me never to pass up a free meal." Clint agreed after a long pause, his eyes falling back onto Stark's face, but never raising to look Tony directly in the eyes. Clint didn't bother adding that his father rarely made enough money to feed them before his death, which was why he suggested never passing up a free meal – any advice given by his father was typically followed by a drunk fueled beating but Clint really didn't want to be thinking about that.

"Then it's settled." Stark practically chimed as he clapped his hands together in front of him. "I'll wait for you to get ready."

"You can wait inside if you'd like." Clint offered after another moment had passed them by.

Tony glanced into the small space curiously, brushing by Clint without a need for any more encouragement. "Nice place you have here. A bit…small."

"Thanks. You can sit, wherever," The archer fumbled, waving a hand towards the couch shoved in the corner, "I'll only be a moment." Clint sighed and ducked back into his bedroom, closing the door.

Clint quickly stripped out of his work clothes and took a quick shower, only allowing himself to enjoy the hot water running down his bare back. His muscles were in knots from the sudden onslaught of stress he was facing.

Perhaps it would be better if they stayed in the bugged apartment. That way Tony would have to keep up his fake cheery façade and Clint could pretend that everything was okay. That none of what happened had happened.

But that would be a lie and Clint was tired of lies.

Turning off the water Clint stood there for a moment, naked with water droplets dripping off of his pale skin and damn hair.

With a grate deal of effort Clint pulled himself out of the shower finished getting ready. What felt like eternity really only lasted about fifteen minutes. Clint exited his room dressed in his nicest dark blue jeans and a button up long sleeve black shirt he'd found hanging in his closet.

Obnoxiously, Tony whistled.

"Um," Clint fumbled, trying not to glare – in this scenario they were supposed to be strangers, and Stark is rich and 'intimidating' with authority. "I'm ready to go, sir, if you are."

Stark nodded with a sly smirk, Clint realized quickly that the bastard was actually enjoying this. Probably not all of it, just the part were Clint revered him with a sense of authority. Never before in their friendship, or acquaintance for that matter, had Clint called Tony 'sir.'

The game the men were playing didn't end until Happy opened the limo door for them and shut it after they had crawled inside.

Inside the façade ended. Tony's smile vanished in a blink of the archer's keen eyes. Worry twisted in Clint's heart, he didn't breathe or risk moving – instead he waited.

Barton felt Tony watching him more than anything else. The idea of looking up at his old friend made Clint feel like he was choking.

The awkward silence stretched on as the vehicle started moving.

Finally Stark spoke, his voice was lighter than the mood felt. "Look, Barton, I know you've been busy with this dangerous, super spy stuff."

Clint refused to look up, his shoulders tense, waiting for Tony to get to the point —for the yelling to start. If not that, he wanted Stark to tell him what he had come to say and leave.

"But," Tony hesitated, probably wondering if he had a captive audience since his companion wasn't looking at him. Or maybe it was something else, this whole situation felt wrong for Clint.

"But," Tony repeated with a softer tone that actually made Clint flinch. "I've come to the realization that our team is seriously slacking without our star archer."

Finally Clint looked up, if only to see if the man was lying – Tony sounded sincere, but the man had perfected 'faking' it over the years.

Though Clint had looked up, he stilled couldn't bring himself to meet Tony's eyes. He also couldn't bring himself to talk. What could he say? Sorry for being such a screw up? That speech had never worked in the past. Every person he'd tried it with left anyway.

"Clint, I'm talking about you. We need you."

"You don't have to do this thing." Clint found himself saying.

"What thing?"

Clint looked down as he took a deep breath and let it out slow. "That thing where you pretend the others didn't put you up to this. What I did, was unforgivable." For the first time Clint raised his eyes to Tony. The man looked surprised.

"Well, that's too bad because I forgiv – "

"Stop, just stop." Barton cut him off sharply. "You don't want me back. I'll be a constant reminder of betrayal. You won't ever be able to trust me again, not after what I did."

Tony was quiet for a few seconds before he broke the silence. "Sounds like you've already gone and crucified yourself. How hard was it to pound the nails into your hands and feet? I'm guessing hard."

This time Clint looked up all too easily, wondering where the hell Tony got off joking at a time like this. This wasn't funny, none of it was. "Why are you here?"

"I told you, we need you back. The bad-ass you, not this," Stark gestured to Clint wildly with one hand as he spoke, "Sad-suicidal version of you. The team needs you and I want you back. It admittedly took me a bit too long to realize you weren't the bad guy in all this. Hell, we were both blindsided Clint, I saw it in your eyes. I just needed someone to blame and chose wrong."

Clint opened his mouth to interrupt but Tony's hand shot out and slapped him gently upside the head. It was more shocking than anything else, and it got Clint's attention when Tony started speaking again. "Don't even consider apologizing again. It wasn't your fault. I don't care if I have to give you a concussion to beat it into you, realize that right now, Feathers."

The nickname caused Clint's eyebrows to jump upwards in surprise.

Tony smiled brightly when he saw he had the archer's full attention. "Look, I know me so I'll be honest, it won't be easy. I can be a pissy little bitch when I'm in the mood. I can't say I won't say mean things, because, let's face it – I'm me. I have no filter, it's part of my charm." The billionaire paused with a smirk before continuing. "All I'm saying is I want to try and fix this. And hell, if you die on some fucked up mission we'll never get the chance."

Clint heard what he said and he wanted to believe it was all true, that Tony was the one who wanted things to be better, but he couldn't help but think that it might just be for the sake of the team. That Tony was doing this only because he felt obligated too. It was an odd thought for most people, Stark pretended to be this selfish asshole more than not – but Clint knew Tony. He bled red just like the rest of them.

"Look, Clint." The playfulness had left the billionaire's voice again, drawing the archer's eyes back up to his once again. "I know how hard it will be, for both of us, but I want this to work out. Not just for the team either. You were my best friend and I really think we can be friends again. Honestly, I'm not sure if we ever stopped, we just, paused for the moment. I would never be able to forgive myself if you died on some stupid mission because you had the balls to be honest with me when a lesser man would have simply lied."

Clint dropped his gaze again, suddenly finding the carpet in the limo fascinating.

"Tony, I'm sor – " Clint paused only long enough to snatch Tony's hand mid air as it shot out to slap him again. "Sorry." Clint finished with a fraction of a smile at the small victory. "I need you to know."

"You, my friend, are an idiot." Stark groaned, falling back into his seat with more force than necessary. "You have nothing to be sorry about. Me, on the other hand – If I were the apologizing kind, which by the way I'm not, my knees would be bleeding from groveling. I was an ass – we both know it. I've accepted it, the team has accepted it so you might as well embrace it. This little car ride is all the apology and groveling you are going to get – deal with it."

Clint smirked a bit, his heart felt lightened, like the sun just broke through the thick dark clouds of guilt that had been hovering over him since this whole thing started. Maybe, just maybe things could go back to a semblance of normal. Maybe he hadn't totally screwed up the one chance he'd ever had at a real, loving family.

"So, are you going to come back?" Tony asked just before he dropped Clint off that night. They had a nice evening with Stark filling Clint in on what he'd missed at the tower. "I know a killer spider and a few other old friends who have been less than subtle about missing you."

The question didn't really need much contemplation. Clint wanted nothing more than to go home.

"I just need to finish up here," Clint promised before they parted. "Then I'll come home. Promise."

Stark smirked, "I'll hold you too it." He saluted before he nodded to Happy and the limo pulled away.

Clint took a moment to watch the vehicle drive out of sight before returning to his apartment. His heart was flying with revived hope, but Clint had a choice to make. Go home immediately and rebuild what was broken, or stay and finish the mission.

All the work he had done so far, which honestly didn't feel like much, would be wiped clean if he left now. However, there was no telling how long he'd be stuck in Michigan if he stayed.

After long and tiring introspective debate, Clint made his decision.

Dressing in work out clothes the archer left the apartment and ran to a place he knew his conversation wouldn't be over heard.

"Speak." A gruff voice barked on the other end of the line.

Clint smirked. "I see you haven't lost your charm, Director."

"Barton, do you have any new information?" Fury asked, ignoring his agent's insubordination.

"Stark visited, I'm taking the out." Clint decided to be blunt. Few people could be that way with the director of SHIELD, but Clint had formed a soft spot in big-bad Fury's heart.

There was a short pause before Fury answered. "I have an agent on standby ready to take your place, how soon do you want out?"

"Immediately." Clint responded, smiling lightly at Fury's plot. The director had given him the out from the start. It felt good known that he had friends watching his back, even in times of trouble. "I'll speak with Swift tonight before my shift and tell him I got a better job offer with Stark."

"Just so I have this clear, when you come back you are rejoining the Avengers?"

"Yes, sir." Clint felt his smile grow into a grin. His heart felt warm with the realization he was going home. It had been far too long, he missed his team – his family.

After worrying for so long that he'd never be accepted back this all felt like some sugar high dream.

"Good to hear it, Barton. I'll see you soon."

After the conversation, and hashing out a few last minute details, Clint jogged back into town and back to his apartment. It didn't take Clint long to call Swift's office and arrange a meeting before his shift started.

The agent within him noticed with surprise how easy it was to get in to see the man last minute, but Clint didn't care just as long as he got the hell out of there as soon as possible – he had a home to get back too.

While he waited Clint allowed himself a short shower and changed into the work issued uniform before heading out to meet with his fake boss for the last time.

The main building was quiet when Clint arrived and only Swift was there to greet him.

The two men shook hands and together entered Swift's office. "Sergeant Quinn, I was a little surprised to hear you wanted to speak with me, is everything alright?" The older man asked as he closed the door behind them and walked around his desk to settle in his chair.

Clint decided on standing at ease in front of the man instead of sitting down, his hands clasped lightly behind his back as he addressed Swift. "I'm afraid I've been offered another job." Clint announced, finding no need to dance around the topic. He wanted to get out of there and catch the next plane back to New York.

"Stark Industries have made it clear that they are very interested in me working for them, I would be a fool not to take the opportunity. I am sorry to be leaving you so suddenly, I've made some calls to my old superior officers, they've already started to look for an acceptable replacement."

Swift tipped his head to the side as he studied Clint with calculating eyes, "I'm sure they have." The older man said with a resigned tone. "I will be very sorry to see you go, Agent Barton."

The switch in name sent Clint on high alert a second too slow, warning flashing in his mind as he heard the door opened behind him. The archer turned, but it was already too late – one of the men had already successfully driven a syringe into Clint's exposed neck.

Without much of a second thought Clint reached out and twisted the man's neck, snapping it with familiar ease, but the damage had been done.

The drug he had been injected with was fast acting, already Clint's legs felt numb and wobbly. Clint turned ready to defend himself even though his vision was already clouding around the edges.

Swift stepped into focus just as Clint's knees hit the carpet. "Unfortunately for you, Agent, I can't afford to let an opportunity like you slip away. We've known from the very beginning who you are and who you work for. The only reason we've kept you alive this long is in here." The man's finger pointed at the archer's head. "You are the perfect test subject."

That fleeting bit of light Clint had felt break through the clouded walls of his heart earlier vanished with the man's words. As his strength left him Clint felt cold.

The last thought that crossed the archer's mind before he fell into complete darkness was that he had inadvertently lied to Tony.

Clint wasn't going home after all.


End file.
